Link's Cuckoo Phobia
by Writer Of Worlds
Summary: Out of all the things the Hero of Hyrule could be afraid of, Falco did NOT expect him to be scared of a measly Cuckoo…he finds out why. Link x Falco friendship.


**Title: Link's Cuckoo Phobia**

 **Fandom: Super Smash Bros.**

 **Rating: K**

 **Genre: Humor/Friendship**

 **Summary: Out of all the things the Hero of Hyrule could be afraid of, Falco did NOT expect him to be scared of a measly Cuckoo…he finds out why. Link x Falco friendship.**

 **Pairings: Link x Falco friendship**

 **A/N: It's 12 in the morning on a college night, and then this little plot bunny came in and said "hi!" So here you go friends. A random and (hopefully funny) oneshot of Link's Cuckoo phobia (headcanon: Link is actually afraid of Cuckoos!)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in the SSB series.**

 **ENJOY!**

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 **Link's Cuckoo Phobia**

Falco couldn't help but laugh. Out of all the things his friend, Link, the Hero of Hyrule, could be afraid of, the avian did _not_ expect him to be scared of a _chicken_ (or actually, a Cuckoo as Link and his friends called them). Falco remembered that, during their matches, items were usually turned on—one of them was the "dreaded" Cuckoo. Whenever one of these chickens appeared, Link would freak out and run away, screaming about how horrible those Cuckoos were. Falco usually teased him about his supposed phobia of chickens; chickens were birds, and Falco was a bird. Why would Link be scared of a bird, when he was actually friends with one?

Falco laughed out loud as he remembered Link's silly behavior during previous matches. His actions mirrored the ladies who squealed whenever they spotted a giant rat, running for cover and lifting their skirts while standing on a chair.

The avian shook his head, trying to stifle more laughter. "Aaah, Link…" he spoke as he sipped his tea, closing his eyes as he relaxed on the folding beach chair.

It was a hot, summer day outside. The sun shone down on the avian, causing him to break out into a light sweat. The grass stood still, indicating that there was no breeze. A pen full of Cuckoos were nearby, and the clucking did not bother Falco one bit. In fact, he found it quite relaxing. He hummed, about to fall asleep when…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Falco was startled awake. Before he had time to react, the beach chair tipped over, and Falco fell off, the tea spilling all over his shirt. He groaned when he recognized Link's screaming. "LINK! You idiot!" Falco growled as he got up. "What's wrong with you?!"

When he turned and spotted Link, the supposed Hero of Hyrule was clinging onto a palm tree like his life depended on it. Walking up to him in an innocent manner was a Cuckoo.

Falco's irritation quickly disappeared, and he attempted to hold in his laughter, to no avail. As he continued to stare at Link's predicament, he guffawed.

"FALCO!" Link screamed. "This isn't funny! Those things...they're the root of all evil! EVIL, I tell you!"

Falco wiped away the tears from his eyes. "Oh c'mon, Link. It's just a chicken. How bad could they be?"

Link shook his head. "Th-they'd probably KILL you if you looked at them wrong!"

Falco laughed at Link's excuse. "You're so pathetic, Link. You're the Hero of Hyrule, yet a Cuckoo makes you wet yourself?"

"FALCO!"

Falco chortled. "I'm kiddin', I'm kiddin'!" He walked towards the Cuckoo and picked it up gently. The smaller bird stared up at him with large, adoring eyes. Falco smirked. "Look at him. He's cute!"

"No it's NOT!" Link cried. "If you hurt it even a little bit, it'll try to kill you!"

Falco shook his head. "Link...he won't kill ya," he said as he walked towards the large pen. He then placed the Cuckoo in there. "Look at him. Does that face look like a killer's?"

"YES!" Link screamed.

Falco sighed, rolling his eyes. "Really now, Link? C'mon, they're just what they are: chickens. They don't go around and kill people."

Link slid down from the tree he was clinging onto until he landed back on solid ground. "But Falco—"

"I think it's time to face that fear, Link."

Link's eyes widened at that suggestion, and he shook his head. "N-no! I'm NOT going near those devils!"

"C'mon, buddy," Falco chuckled as he placed his arm over Link's shoulders. "You'll just feed them. Then you're done!" He then picked up a bag full of chicken feed and shoved it into Link's hands.

Link stared down at it, gulping down a lump in his throat. "I-I—"

"What's up, now?" Falco asked as he tapped his foot with impatience, his wings on his hips.

"C-could you come with me? Just to make sure I make it out okay?" Link asked timidly.

Falco groaned, facepalming. "Link...you're not a kid."

"Pleeeeeeease?" Link stared down at his friend, his eyes wide and shining like a puppy.

Falco sighed. "All right, all right. No more puppy eyes, though!"

Link smiled as his eyes turned back to their normal size. "Thanks, Falco. You're a good friend."

"Yeah, whatever."

Falco and Link wandered over to the Cuckoo pen, and Link crossed his arms as he stared at the devil's servants. "I really don't want to do this, Falco…" the Hero of Hyrule trailed off.

The avian rolled his eyes and ignored his friend, instead reaching out to jiggle the lock on the pen's gate. "Guess whoever owns these chickens doesn't want them to escape. Just hop on over, Link."

In a panic, Link glanced over at Falco, his eyes wide. "H-hop over?"

Falco reached out and pushed Link forward with his wing. "Don't be a _chicken_ , Link. Just go!" Coerced by the avian, Link reluctantly jumped over the fence into the pen, while Falco stood just outside the wooden railing.

"I'll be watchin' ya so you won't get killed," Falco reassured. "But I doubt you'll get killed by a chicken."

"FALCO!" Link cried.

Falco laughed. Link turned back to face the Cuckoos, who were staring at him with big, cute eyes. The Hero of Hyrule gulped as he grabbed the chicken feed from the bag and spread it on the ground. The Cuckoos clucked with joy as they walked over to their lunch. Once they began eating, Link heaved a sigh of relief.

 _This isn't so bad…_ Link thought. _Falco's right: they are kind of cute._

Falco clapped at Link's accomplishment. "Good job, Link. Now let's getcha out of there."

Link nodded. However, things took a frightening turn. When Link took one step forward, he accidentally kicked a Cuckoo on the behind. Link cried out as he tripped over the innocent Cuckoo, dropping the bag of chicken feed. When he hit the ground, chicken feed spilled everywhere. Link froze, realizing what he had done. He heard loud clucking from the Cuckoo he kicked, and he slowly turned to see the Cuckoos glaring at him, their eyes red as blood.

Falco saw the whole thing happen, and his eyes widened. His legs started to shake in fear, and sweat dripped down his forehead.

"RUUUUUUUUUN!" Link screamed as he got up from the ground and jumped over the fence to sprint away. The Cuckoos, in a rage, clucked as they flew after him. Falco took a step back, and he saw a Cuckoo flying towards his head, aiming to peck out his feathers.

"OW!" Falco screamed. Realizing this was a life-or-death situation, Falco ran alongside Link, both of them screaming like little girls. The Cuckoos chased after them, feathers flying everywhere. Despite the two's best efforts, the Cuckoos caught up with them, and the once-harmless chickens began to peck them harder.

"OW OW OW OW OWWWWW!" the two friends cried, trying to protect themselves from the Cuckoos' sharp beaks. The Cuckoos continued their assault until Falco and Link felt their consciousness slipping away. Eventually, they blacked out.

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 _Later that day…_

Falco and Link walked out of the Smash Hospital, their bodies covered in bandages. Link was shuddering from the near-death experience, and surprisingly, so was Falco.

"N-now I see why you're so afraid of them," Falco stuttered.

Link nodded, a blank stare on his face. "Told you."

"Remind me to not mess around with them _ever_ again."

"Deal."

With that, the two slowly made their way back to the Smash Mansion, both of them having learned their lesson: _never_ mess with a Cuckoo, unless you want to be pecked to death.

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 **Constructive criticism is welcomed! ...And yes, I edited most of it while I'm SLEEP DEPRIVED. What's wrong with me?! I'll have my betas read over it later in the morning though XD**

 **Beta reader: h34rt1lly**


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